Heartbeat
by theatergleek
Summary: "He's at UCLA, and there are college girls there. The girls are prettier than me, without a doubt. They also probably dress better than me, but I don't have anyone in Lima that could even come close to Jesse."
1. Hesitate

**CHAPTER ONE- Hesitate**

RACHEL POV:

It had been almost four months since he broke an egg on my forehead. I still cannot forget how those three words had left me in this state of confusion I am still not out of four months later.

"_I loved you."_

Did he say that to make the egging leave me in a state of pain, worse that I was already in? Or did he say that because he really meant it? I try to convince myself every time this memory is brought to my conscious mind that the first reason is why he did this, but when I remember the look in his eyes when he was saying those words, I could only see pain.

I don't care anymore why he egged me, because that was in the past. I can't change that, and even if I could, I would change for me to never have met him.

For weeks, I sat at home in solitary watching the old black and white romantic movies thinking repetitively throughout the movies, "Please let this be the last night of this habit," or "I wish we could have been like them."

Does he miss me like I miss him?

_Probably not_

He's at UCLA, and there are college girls there. The girls are prettier than me, without a doubt. They also probably dress better than me, but I don't have anyone in Lima that could even come close to Jesse.

Finn is sweet, and I feel safe with him. Sure he isn't as good as singing, or dancing, or performing, as Jesse was, and he has no idea what I'm talking about when I'm talking about musicals, but I don't need someone that's good at that, and can know all of that, to make me happy.

_Right?_

Finn made me feel loved... Unless he was with Santana and Brittany. He always agreed with them, and quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing him agree with the derogatory comments Santana and Brittany are throwing at me.

What am I thinking? I am going out with Finn, and I have for the past two months. I've been trying to win him over since the beginning of sophomore year, and I am _not _going to let a boy who egged me mess our relationship up.

_Even if Jesse is better than Finn._

I pick up my phone to text Finn to have him come over, but I scroll a bit too far and see the name "Jesse St. James."

How have I not deleted his number yet? What am I hoping for? He's not going to call!

But that part of me in my subconscious feels the need to text him, and my fingers are overruled by my subconscious, so I am unable to stop myself from typing one minute word and pressing send.

"Why? -R"

* * *

JESSE POV:

I was stupid. I was depressed. I was a douche. Hell, I loved, and still love, Rachel. She was my equal. And not to mention my love for her little animal sweaters.

I shouldn't have left her.I shouldn't have proven my "loyalty" to Vocal Adrenaline by cracking an egg on her head. I shouldn't have even had to prove my loyalty to Vocal Adrenaline; they knew I was helping Coach Corchran. I shouldn't have let Shelby manipulate me. I shouldn't have let her threaten to take away my scholarship.I shouldn't have done a whole load of crap. But, here I am, sitting in my dorm at UCLA, alone, and crying.

Guys don't cry. They beat other people of things up when they're upset. But I'm Jesse . I'm that exception. Rachel's probably thrilled with Finn. I can bet you she is. She's had her eye on him since I can remember. She probably hasn't thought of me in four months. I've thought about her the whole time. I'm sitting silently in my room, and the tears are finally subsiding. I see my phone light up.

_"One New Message," it read._

I click on it, thinking it will be from one of my cast mates, but when I see who it's from, I take a sharp breath in, for it is the one person I least expected to ever come in contact with me again.

_ "Why? -R"_


	2. I Try

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey! I just want to thank everyone for favoriting/reviewing my story! I'm sorry that this chapter is short... They look longer on my phone!

Enjoy!

(DISCLAIMER- I do not, (n)or will I ever own Glee... Unless for some reason Ryan Murphy dies and I am in his will to inherit the ownership of Glee...

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO: I Try**

JESSE POV:

_"Why? -R"_

I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I couldn't tell her. I seriously could not tell her even if I tried to explain myself. I secretly wondered if she was drunk right now.

I ended up attempting to reply, but it took all my courage just to hit the reply button, and even then, I was going in and out of the blank text message. Finally, after seventeen minutes of struggle, I was able to form a comprehensible message.

"i cant tell you why. its not that i don't want to rach-" he paused, "-el. call me and ill try to explain -jesse"

And again, I had to bring all my courage to my fingers to press the minute "send" button.

The moment I send it, guilt flooded my body.

_ What have I done?_

My thoughts kept spawning other ideas of what could be going through her head, but my thoughts were interrupted as soon as I heard my phone ring.

RACHEL POV:

I was panicking. Nothing, _nothing,_ could describe how nervous I felt.

_What was I thinking? I was crazy to even contact him, let alone to text him asking why he did what he did._

These thoughts ceased when I felt my phone buzz.

_ "i cant tell you why. its not that i don't want to rachel. call me and ill try to explain -jesse"_

I was on the brink of hyperventilation by the time I had finished reading his text.

_He wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to call him. He wanted to explain himself._

I hesitantly picked up my phone, and my finger wandered over the keyboard until I was able to hit the "call" button, and talk to Jesse.

"Hello?" the boy on the other line said.

"Jesse?" I whispered, "We need to talk."


	3. Faint Lights

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you SO much for all the story alerts and reviews!

Enjoy this chapter!

Also, sorry for the shortness of all my chapters. :P

DISCLAIMER: Unless I am in Ryan Murphy's will to own this if he dies, I will never own Glee

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE- Faint Lights**

JESSE POV:

"Jesse?" There was a pause, "Uh, Jesse? We need to talk."

So many things were running through my mind, but it all turned into one collaborative mess.

"Jesse, let's start from the beginning. Did you meet me on purpose or on accident that day in the music store?" Rachel asked.

"I met you on accident, but Shelby found out as soon as your Glee coach came to her. She then sent me on a mission. If I were to successfully reunite both of you guys, I would be able to keep my scholarship, if not, I would be off Vocal Adrenaline, and my scholarship would no longer exist. I needed that scholarship, so I set this as an acting exercise so I wouldn't hurt anyone. Once I got to know you, I found myself falling in love with you. That's why I switched schools. I told Shelby it was because it would help me get the tape to you faster, but the truth is, I couldn't stand to be away from you. Shelby finally saw behind my façade, and she forced me to go on the annual Spring Break Vocal Adrenaline trip. This worked out perfectly with the whole 'Run Joey, Run' fiasco, so all I had to do was have a dramatic storm out, and my story. Once we got there, she started lecturing me on how the tape needs to be handed over 'right this very instant.' She told me that I had to hand the tape over when we got back, and end things immediately once you got the tape, or else. I did what I thought I needed to do to make it believable for the both of us, and at that time, cracking an egg on your head felt like something that was needed. I couldn't have you come in contact with me again, because I knew my heart would tear into shreds once our conversation was over, but I didn't have the will to erase your number," I finished with one, final, sigh.

"What about what you said right before you cracked the egg on my head?" Rachel asked.

"That was another thing I thought was needed to make sure you never reached out to me again," I muttered.

I was assuming that Rachel was absorbing everything I told her due to the silence on her side of the line.

"I believe you, Jesse. But don't think for one moment that I'm forgiving you, and don't even start to dream that I might let you gain my trust again," she paused, "I have to go. It's three hours later here than it is there. Sleep well tonight, Jesse."

She believes me.

I know for a fact that I went to sleep with a smile on my face that night.

There is no way in heck I'm going to screw my second chance up.


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Before you get all excited, please notice that this is an AUTHOR'S NOTE. I will replace this with a chapter as soon as I get a new chapter written, but I need to say a few things.

First and foremost, I am terribly sorry that I have not updated in months. My St. Berry muse has gone on a long holiday, and it doesn't seem to want to come back. I've been trying to force a new chapter out of myself, but I just cannot do it!

Second, as most everyone is aware of, the was a (few) earthquake(s) in Japan yesterday. I, myself, am not that religiously inclined, and I know several other people aren't either, but please send you thoughts, prayers, condolences, etc. to those in the Pacific. I heard somewhere that the tsunami was supposed to reach Antarctica, and that scared the living shit out of me. I have seen horrendous photographs of the damage in Japan, and it just makes me shudder (is that the right word?) at the thought that hundreds (maybe even thousands...?) have lost their life or were severely injured. It also breaks my heart that millions have lost their homes and property. So please, just keep everyone in your thoughts.

Again, I am so sorry that I haven't updated in the past few months, but I promise that I will try and get _something_ out in the next few weeks.


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